Sigh.

One year at SVSU = $16,000
One year at MCC  = $3,000
Total = $19,000

Down the drain.

Nothing important transfers to Temple. And most likely nothing will transfer elsewhere either if I go out of state. Which I really want to do. I want away from family for a while. Be able to go somewhere that allows me to call home with my success stories and keep all my failures to myself.

I can't budget to save my life, but if being a penniless student in some crap apartment for two or three years is what I need to experience before I can appreciate what I've got right now, then it can't be helped.

But wait! That scholarship from Temple! Isn't that good? 

Well, yes. A few months ago when I researched Hosptiality schools I kept getting pointed to Temple. Oh good, it's the best and I got in. But after talking to so many people about why I simply have to leave the state, and is that school REALLY the best , I had to sigh and say no. You caught me. It's down the list some. Not even on one websites suggestions. There's one in Denver and one in New York that blow it away apparently. But if people hadn't kept asking me I wouldn't have double checked that Temple was the best and I would have been under the impression I was at the best school.

Suddenly the optimism fades a bit.

Considering the fact I've joined no clubs at school, I have no chance of getting into NYU. Denver is probably a lost cause as well. I have the grades but not the money, activities, and connections.

Dad and Laura suggested a school in Florida, which looked very promising and affordable until I realized it was a college and not a university. The whole point of not getting a certificate at Macomb was that I wanted MORE than a community college certif. Yeah I can transfer to Florida International Uni after two years but I want a better school atmosphere. I hate community college because no one joins any clubs or does anything on campus.

I did apply to FIU, but then realized I couldn't get in until spring. Perhaps I could do a year at the community college then at that uni, but it's on opposite sides of the state. Go to a different comm college, or just take a semester off are possibilities.

I don't know. I get discouraged easily. The smallest thing can turn me off, or send me into a fit. Mood swings, anxiety, short fuse...depression much? But no, no matter how much I try to convince my family, no one wants to let me get treated for it. So I have my Meijer brand Good Days pills, but I'm cheap and don't buy them to take them regularly.

Back to the topic of school.

At the moment, I can afford the following:

-Continue at Macomb Community and eventually transfer to a Michigan uni such as Madonna

-Transfer now to Temple as a full time student

-Transfer to Temple as a part time student, and do part time at Community College of Philadelphia

-Transfer now to Daytona State College as a full time student

-Transfer to Florida International University as a full time student

I guess I have a month to think it over :\

So I'm updating to please you! I hope you are happy =]

Beth and Melanie are coming to visit this weekend! We're going to have a rockin' game night! Of course I chose the weekend that most people are busy xD Only half can come, but we'll have ten people over so it's not like it'll be quiet or boring. Catch Phrase! I'm excited to play with you Genna. BE ON MY TEAM!

I'm trying to figure out what career I want. Suggestions? English? Accounting? ((stalk Genna and do social work too? >.>  <.< ))

First off, I would like to say that the boys upstairs surprised me. They do have good taste. After five hours of suffering through their music choices, they finally played David Bowie, Queen, and Kenny Chesney. Bravo!

Next, the drama that happened at school. I heard a scream, then alarm went off. I guess a guy had a gun and stole a girls car. It was advised to have a police escort if we wanted to go anywhere. Sigh. I was home alone. Good weekend for it. Ha. Ha ha.

Hey all, I'm moved in and classes have started. Going pretty well. Here's a summary of my week. Actually it's more of detailed report than summing it up.

Friday: Moving Day!
Mom, Dad, Laura, Matt, Melanie, my best friend Bee and I all got up early, packed up the cars (and Laura's new Saturn Vue, check that out soon guys, it's amazing!) and drove to Saginaw! About two hours from home, not bad.

The suite. When you come in you're in the living room/eating area. To the left is the small kitchen. Walk through the living room to the hallway, and there are the two bathrooms to the left, and then rooms on either side of the hall. First room on the left is Chloe. Then Emma. Across from her is me and Kelsey, and next to us is Ally and Andria.

Then we have Chloe. Well I made sure to befriend Chloe right away, ha ha. She likes anime and writing as much as I do, and she likes RENT. Yay for living with a RENThead!  She's awesome. Which really came in handy, because there is this creeper that I met and I call her to come save me whenever he finds me. I love my Chloe!

Next is Emma, which I told a few of you at that reunion none of us could get a hold of. Now we do everything together.

When I was walking down to the first meeting Friday, mom was still with me. She stayed while everyone else went to Frankenmuth to eat. I didn't have time, plus I needed to run to Meijer. So I forgot to bring school supplies to school, wanna fight about it? Ha ha just kidding. ANYWAY, I felt bad for shoving mom out the door but I noticed that only one other girl was actually going to the meeting. Man, say something is optional and [i]no one[/i] shows up. I hugged mom goodbye and quickly went over to talk to her. I'm better at talking one-on-one than going up to a group.

Her name is Sable Zuza. I love her last name, so I just call her Zuza. We waited to see if anyone else was coming, and when no one else seemed interested (in our entire 3 story building) off we went with the RA to a panel. Zuza noticed my RENT hoodie, and it turns out she loves RENT too! And Labyrinth, she is a small Bowie fan. So glad I talked to her! And she only lives a few doors down from me, it's awesome.

Saturday: "Fresh Start " Program
We had to do a bunch of activities and go to meetings and such. There was a comedian/author who I thought was amazing, but everyone in the gym talked through it. How rude!

I met Stephanie in the diversity meeting. She likes RENT and obscure bands like I do. And we both like Boneyard, which is a radio station on XM that plays...oh I don't know how to describe it...hair bands? All of them I've mentioned so far like Broadway, too, which is amazing. Stephanie is actually a theatre major/creative writing minor! I was like seriously you're living my dream, why am I doing accounting again?

We went to a practice class, which I thought was strange. After I called Laura and she agreed, and said Saginaw didn't do that for her. But it was helpful! And a confidence boost. We had to get in groups and go over this philosophy thing. Yes, 'thing' is all I can come up with right now. We had to paraphrase it and say what we thought it meant, bla bla bla.

Well, I talked it over with my group, and we each had a two sentences to do. The professor called on a girl to go first, then a guy. The guy used half of what I was going to say! I was like seriously, are we doing this? He did his part then dipped into my sentences, which lead the professor to say pretty much the rest of what I had planned. Keep in mind, guys, that that means I had exactly what he wanted written down, ha ha. Anyway...my turn. I joked about how they'd said what I wanted to and he laughed and said "My bad, but go ahead." Professors say 'My bad?' I didn't know this... So I rephrased some and then used the rest of what I ready, then totally just made up stuff off the top of my head to take up the time. He looked shocked that I actually talked more than thirty seconds like everybody else, heh heh. Yeah I'm an overachiever. He said "Wow, that was very good. Very insightful." And at the end of the hour he said our 'class' had the best answers of the day so far, and then winked at me. I was thinking 'I appreciate that, but you're old (no offense family, but still he was like wayyy past all of you. Like 104, guys.) and that was creepy.' For the record, any of you are welcome to wink anytime, ha ha. But the class did make me feel more confident and I left thinking "I can so do this".

Zuza, Chloe, Steph, Emma, Kelsey and I hang out at least three times a day, it's great. Walking home (my dorm already feels like home, and I refer to it as such) I'll knock on doors to see who's home and bring them on down with me. And any of them show up at strange times too. Everyone except Steph lives on my floor. Steph actually lives in a different building, so we walk her home at night. Campus seems safe enough, but two in the morning...you never know. Plus we don't want her to be bored, and we need to get in last minute chatting.

By the way, mom, it's only two in the morning on weekends, ha ha. I do actually sleep on school nights. Just so you know. :)

Oh, and this is what I couldn't tell you over the phone, mom. We think one of our suite mates is stealing stuff. Think, don't know for sure. I didn't want her to hear me telling you this. Everyone else can get in on the drama too, ha ha. There was an iPhone on the kitchen table, and Ally asked Andria if it was hers, and she said no. (The two room together beside me). Ally saw it in her drawer a few days later, and asked again and Andria said "Yeah yeah it's mine." Er...no, it's really not. We've seen her texting enough to know what her phone looks like.

Then I couldn't find my adorably hot pink washcloth. Hard to explain my love for this, but it's just a great shade of pink. I ask around, and it ended up in Andria's laundry somehow. She said it got there on accident somehow, and really who would actually take a washcloth?, but I had it on the highest rack drying. And nothing else had slipped off. I didn't think anything of it until my amazingly soft pink throw blanket (I like pink, does it show yet?) went missing. Yes I shouldn't have forgotten it in the living room, but still. I asked if Andria had seen it and she said no without looking up. However, she had a friend over sitting on her bed. She actually looked around and pulled it out, it was partially under Andrias comforter. She didn't have an explanation and I just went back to my room.

Then our room key gets stolen.   And both Kelsey and I have laptops and cell phones and stuff in our room, and we couldn't lock it. And Andria NEVER locks the living room door. And gets mad whenever we do, because it is such a pain to have to use the key hanging around your neck to get in...? We got our new keys the next day, but for an entire day anyone could get to our stuff. Nothing appears missing, and I'm happy, but I was really anxious.

I don't really talk to Ally and Andria much. I dont' have much in common with them, and they are hardly home anyway. Both are party kids, and not really my style. My group stays home and drinks Mountain Dew while playing Monopoly. That's our party, ha ha. They have already had close calls with the police. I went to jail, but again it was Monopoly...

Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday: Classes Begin
So yeah, the reason we're here. After having fun Fri-Sun we all forgot. Learning! Good times.

No. No, not really. I had a test my first day on a chapter I didn't read. Silly me for not thinking ahead. I think/hope it was just to see what we knew, and that he assumes that none of us read it. You know, scare tactic or something that won't be graded. Because I could tell by the faces not one person picked up that book. Oh, ask me sometime why this professor already thinks I'm obnoxious, ha ha. FYI he totally started it.

I got around 70 problems for math my first day too, and I was like aww man, really? I haven't seen math for two years! But it came back pretty easily. I mean I did 'business math' as they called it at my high school in all my accounting/ business classes. But not this kind of math. But yeah, it's easy once you get into it.

Five credit hours of Biology. As scary and horrible as I thought it sounded, I'm thinking now it's not so bad. English doesn't seem too bad, we've already written two things. But I love writing, and that's all this class is, so it should be good.

I'll be home Labor Day weekend if anyone wants me to swing by. Give me a call or email.
my new school email is akborden@svsu.edu

And this is my new address!

Amy K Borden
Living Center North 230C
7400 Bay Road
University Center, MI 48710-0001

Muffy's back ^-^

We've known each other for two years now, but it seems much longer. Not in the time is dragging on sense, but rather I can hardly remember signing on to AIM and not looking to see if she was on. Even when we weren't talking much, I still always checked to see if she was there and contemplated IMing her. Most of the times I was worried I'd say something stupid, so I didn't. The few times I did she didn't seem very interested, so I backed off and let her have her space. She'd talk to me when she wanted to.

And she has! And I haven't been this happy in months. I can sleep easier already. Drug free for me is nearing, I tell you xD Ha ha, no I still have some issues in that area but I tell you, I'm much improved. Stupid brain won't turn off, is all xD I can't stop myself from thinking into all hours of the night. But Cass, you already know that, and you're the only one who reads  this, so why am  recapping? I suppose I just like the sound of my own voice xD

I've thought about Muffy everyday and hoped she'd talk to me again. I practically got up and danced when she IMed me xD First I had to stop crying from joy of course xD Ha ha. Good good.

And, as an added bonus, I got the nerve to call my aunt and ask her if I could borrow her vacation condo thing. She said yes! Woot.

I'm going to Maine to see Muffy in summer. For real this time. I know the past two summers Ive said so, but I'll be 18 and able to decide what I want to do, and there's nothing in the world I want more than to give her a hug for real. No more *hugs*. As much as I love those ^-^

I'm not forgetting you Cass, hugging you is on my top priority list too! *pounce* I shall see you before summer, if all goes as planned. Love you honeybun <3

off to sleep!

Went to my sisters house!

I got Celine Dion purfume from my brother Gerald, who rocks like no other.

A new David Bowie shirt from my sister Patty!

Binoculars that take pictures xD How sweet is that? Come in very handy at the Adam Pascal concert, I bet... Yay x3

Oh, and I also got a nail set from my aunt, and I cant wait to try that out.

I got some pretty great stuff xD

-A claw machine. I know, wtf right? But my niece got one last year and I was all "but but I want it xD" so my mommy found one for me xD Its a small one you put on a table, but still xD I won some candy already. None of my friends can win xD

-Wizard of Oz dolls! Glinda, Wicked Witch, and a munchkin. (The box says Wizard of Oz, but its really Wicked x3) Galinda and Elphaba!

-A Daphne Rubin-Vega cd! (Oringinal RENT Mimi). ITS AUTOGRAPHED. *loves*

-An Adam Pascal cd!!!!!!!! Not autographed, but still ten times more amazing than my other cds! Its Adam and he's GORGEOUS.

-The movie Ive been hunting for for three years! "Went to Coney Island on a Mission From God...Back By Five" IM SO EXCITED!

-I bought Mel and I tickets to see Adam Pascal live. Oh yeah. Maybe he could sign my cd then? *ponders* If only I had had it when I saw hin in RENT...

-Clothes that my daddy picked out! Oh yay! He had great taste. Im serious too! Look at me in school next week and you'll see what I mean. Pretty! And I didnt know he remembered my favorite color xD He's so cool

-I got a thing to play my iPod on the car! Now when I take those four hour drives to see Cassey it won't be listening to the same five cds a million times, or messing with the freakin radio ^-^

-Another thing for my car, a "Car buddy". Keeps a few cans of pop cold, and also holds cell phone, iPod, and other stuff. Lots of odd shaped pockets for my crazy stuffs. A Cassey inspired Christmas indeed!

-A cute penguin radio that lights up and dances when you plug your iPod into it. SO ADORABLE. Mel got it to use in the car not knowing we were getting the other gadget, so now he sits in my room :D

-The new Monopoly, "Here and Now" Its updated

-More clothes xD

And some other random stuff. Awsome year.

Oh, you know those huge moving, light up pictures with sound? Mel and I were looking at one for a second on our way out of the mall. Well the guy starts talking to us about it and we keep saying we don't want to buy it and he keeps lowering the price. Well, we gave in xD Originally $200, we lugged that huge thing out after paying $67 for it xD. Well, with tax around 70. But duuude xD If you ever want one just stand there for a while xD

Gosh darn it xD

Hedwig fans need better names. Its not the same as RENThead. HedHead....eh xD

Some refer to themselves as Hedwig whores. I actualy prefer that, but my sister Patty hates "whore" so Im trying to get it out of my vocabulary xD Hard since it is my fav insult. Aw well xD

So anyway, Beth is hooked on it. I know, Im that good xD

I have 4 different versions, and to share the love I posted links to two of them. Buy it if you like it people! Share the love...and money xD

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9CNL1P3H
Hedwig and the Angry Inch OBC

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=B3U7KOK8
Hedwig and the Angry Inch Movie Soundtrack

I also versions with Anthony Rapp, both audio and video, and the closing performance in LA 12.19.99 with Michael Cerveris. Email or post if you'd like those, Im moving my files around so Im not sure where they are at the moment, but I shall have them handy soon.

Today was...bad. And what I put here may seem odd, but then after I think about it, who really reads it anyway? The only person who cares enough to read it is Cassey, and I think its probably only when I tell her to. Or the occasional person looking for broadway stuff.

Anyway. Since this is mainly for me ranting to make myself feel better, I guess I dont beat around the bush to talk to myself. I was sexually harrassed today in second hour. Not to the tramatizing, life altering degree, but enough to make me want to fall over and down into a hole. And what did I do? I laughed. I giggled. Because when I don't know what to do it's all I can do. On the inside I was screaming "get the hell away from me", on the outside, I just turned aside and chuckled to myself while trying to make eye contact with someone on the other side of the room. And I did. And they paused a moment, looked concerned, then...went back to talking.

I dont expect a knight in shining armor, but a little help would be appreciated. One guy, after a good half hour of me squeaking, rolling my eyes desperately and sinking as far back into the corner as possible, called over casually, "Dude, leave her alone." A few looked over, curious. Saw me laughing nervously again, and decided to ignore it. I cant say Im surprised, I wasnt screaming for help. Although when the black guy came over to introduce himself randomly to me, I said (and again with a laugh, because thats what I do when I panic-I honestly break into hysterics at funerals) "Save me from this guy." He laughed and joked around before shaking my hand (which I held onto unusualy long) and left.

Like I said, it wasn't life altering, but enough where it sickens me to go back to that class tomorrow. Most of it was verbal. Which people dont take as seriously as physical. Although he did hit me enough where I was like okay someone had to have seen that. Everyone at my table was gone though. It was a free day. I should have been able to move around to another seat, but they all were taken. And I didn't really know what to do anyway. It never occured to me to leave the classroom either. Or tell the teacher, because of that stupid tattle-tale reputation I'd get. "He's being mean."

I'm not comfortable saying what he said to me, even if I know its just me reading this. Possibly The Cassey.

As a side note, he wrecked my book. He stabbed it with a pencil, scribbled all over it, ripped the edging, put it down his shirt so I couldn't get it back (Im not going in there no matter how much I love this book) and finally, an hour later, he found me again and threw it in the trash can. After a lunch hour. You do the math. And to top it all off, it was my Adam Rapp book. The brother of an original RENT cast member, and also my favorite author and quite possibly my inspiration to write. Too many times to count he's grabbed it from me and thrown it on the ground, but today...I ought to make him buy me a new one, but I know no one could get him to. Plus, Adam Rapp books ARE NOT EASY TO FIND.

All I could do at the end of the day was go crying to my big brother. Matt, who you've seen previous posts about him refusing to admit he loves me, asked where the kid lived before I even got my story out. He has several large strong friends who'd like to meet this kid. But I dont think violence will solve anything, and I say this with a smile, because ultimately if it happens again, I have five men ready to attack him. Ha.

Good news though. I won a t-shirt today. Its a school store staff shirt, and its adorable. I also finished Christmas shopping and got extra credit in English.